Prostate cancer – Communication in a partnership

A cancer diagnosis represents a major challenge for the affected person, but also for their social environment. Partnerships, friendships, and other social relationships can change significantly following such a diagnosis. In particular, the stability of the relationship between couples can be at risk. Not only the patient, but also the partner is very burdened by the illness.

It is particularly important after a cancer diagnosis not to be alone and to share your worries and fears. Some patients and partners may not feel comfortable asking for support, while others may be very open about their needs and feelings. Encourage communication even if it is uncomfortable initially, if either partner is reluctant to talk openly then keeping track of feelings in a diary can help start a conversation. It can also help to join support groups and hear how other patients are dealing with these issues.

Your partner also may have to cope with a change in roles, changes in their shared sexuality, previously unknown fears, or new behavioural patterns. It is also a challenge for many people directly and indirectly affected to express their needs appropriately. Such an illness puts a relationship to a tough test, so it is important to talk to each other as openly as possible and to clearly identify needs and emotions.

Actively involve your partner in the decision-making process

If treatment like radiation or surgery is necessary, decisions must be taken that may affect not only the patient himself but also the partner.

If you feel comfortable, your partner or spouse could accompany you to the medical appointments. An additional attentive listener can help remember details of the appointment and help to make decisions regarding therapy and treatment.

Involving your partner or spouse actively in the decision-making process is important from several points of view: On the one hand, couples can ensure that important decisions are made together and with the doctor. On the other hand, your partner or spouse can often classify and evaluate the information about the findings, treatment, and consequences much better and maybe more objectively than the patient himself.

Keep open lines of communication

A major issue with several side effects of prostate cancerProstate Cancer Prostate cancer is cancer of the prostate. Prostate cancer is the second most common cancerous tumor worldwide and is the fifth leading cause of cancer-related mortality among men. The prostate is a gland in the male reproductive system that surrounds the urethra just below the bladder. treatment is that they may be embarrassing or hard to talk about for the one experiencing them, e.g. incontinence and impotenceImpotence A medical condition that means men have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection, meaning that they cannot have sex.. It is important to keep open lines of communication with your partner or spouse and let him/her know about your feelings, thoughts, and fears to better cope with the situation. This same idea also applies for other side effects, such as feelings of depression, anxiety, and social isolation as well as other physical symptoms. They can be just as difficult to talk about as intimacy-related topics, and they can be just as damaging to a man’s physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing.

Maintaining a warm and safe communicative space with your partner or spouse will encourage both sides and help to maintain a healthy relationship throughout this journey.

Seeking counselling, either alone or with your partner or spouse, can also help if you are becoming overwhelmed or need someone else to talk with. Talk to your doctor or nurse if you feel you need access to counselling services, as they can help with referrals.

Discuss sex and intimacy

Especially post-treatment, you and your partner or spouse will need to establish a “new normal”. This includes dealing with treatment-related side effects that could impact your intimacy. Many of these side effects not only affect your sex life directly but can also have an indirect effect on your desire for intimacy. For example, men struggling with sexual dysfunction or urinary incontinenceUrinary Incontinence The loss of bladder control that leads to unintentional urination may physically have problems being intimate, while also experiencing self-esteem and self-image issues may decrease your desire or ability to be intimate.

It may be hard for you to talk with your partner or spouse about sex and intimacy at first, but over time you both will likely become more comfortable. Prostate cancerProstate Cancer Prostate cancer is cancer of the prostate. Prostate cancer is the second most common cancerous tumor worldwide and is the fifth leading cause of cancer-related mortality among men. The prostate is a gland in the male reproductive system that surrounds the urethra just below the bladder. patients may battle issues like these even after successful treatment. Talking openly to your partner or spouse can help to develop mutual understanding and create new routines and expectations to foster a healthy relationship.  

The earlier and the more intensively the couple deals with sexuality, the better potency can be restored after an operation. However, it is true that in some men potency will never be better than before the treatment, and can unfortunately also be lost completely. Counselling services are available to help couples deal with these issues.